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A LESSON IN HONORING LOVE


Toward the end of the wedding planning process, when everything starts getting "real" most of the final details include finding the words for the sentimental moments of your day. You'll spend time writing your vows, a Welcome Speech, notes to family and friends to thank them for being there for you during your lives up until now, and celebrating this milestone with you.


For a lot of people, especially those of us who aren't particularly inclined to public speaking, that can be daunting. How are you supposed to capture everything you're feeling in such a short window of time? Of course, I'm here to help in any way I can.


When Kat (she/her) and Logan (they/them) started writing their Welcome Speech, they were concerned it was "too political."


As a queer couple, they wanted to communicate to their loved ones what this day meant to them. And the truth is, what they talked about has been made "political." But not by the queer community.


The message they shared is inherently personal - and has only been made taboo by the people who most need to be reached by this message. So, with their permission, I share an excerpt from their words. In hopes it offers perspective and reminds you to care for the loved ones in your life - in every way that matters.

We want to thank each and every one of you. Our family, our friends, our chosen family. As we enter the next chapter of our lives, we are grateful to know that we have your love and support. For some of you, this may be your first queer wedding. We may even be the only queer people in your lives. To you I'll say, "Welcome to the party!" A slogan that gets thrown around a lot when talking about queer marriage is, "Love is love." And, while that's a lovely sentiment, what we're sharing here today is about so much more. Because, when Logan and I first met, it would have been illegal for us to get married in this country. It isn't enough to be able to get married when there have been 138 anti-trans bills proposed this year alone. Not when books depicting love stories that look like ours are being banned. Not when the ability to have this wedding was thrown into limbo because of the overturning of Roe v. Wade, which set a precedent to overturn several cases, including the one that allowed us to get married in the first place. It's about a bigger system of safety for people like us, our community, and for other minority communities. It is about quality of life, about our ability to live safely and to live well. We hope that this day will hold memories of love and joy for you. We hope that you remember these feelings and carry them forward in your life. Supporting us privately and personally is just one piece of the puzzle. We hope that you'll continue to support us, and people like us, publicly, with your words and actions. Whether that's in conversations with friends or at the polls. That's how you can honor our love. So let's raise a glass! To honoring love. To defending love. And, to all of you, for making the journey to celebrate love with us here today. Cheers!

This speech says, "We love you. And, if you love us, you may think being here is enough. But we need you to acknowledge the responsibility you have to affect our lives in tangible ways beyond your presence here today." It's a message they delivered with compassion, coupled with accountability.

Logan and Kat disrupted the disconnect for anyone who doesn't understand the difference between showing up for friends/family because they are OUR people...and showing up for WHO THEY ARE as people. It's a lesson in honoring love I hope carries you forward today and always.




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